I was thinking today about a comment my son made recently. He said that since I was both Mom and Dad (a name he combined as either Dom or Mad -- depending on the day), he felt that he should probably have gotten me a Father's Day present. I was thrilled that he recognized that I was doing the work of two parents (not everyone gets that).
Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner -- to not have to do this alone. I was thinking about this a few weeks ago when I spent a nice, long weekend with my sibs and my parents. All are married and all have wonderful partners. Two things came to mind -- I have never really had a partner, even when I was married. I did the lion's share in my marriage. So I don't really know what a true partnership would look like for me. AND (because I tend to like to do things my own way) there actually are aspects of being a single parent that I like: making my own financial decisions (deciding how to spend and save my money), making my own decisions about maintaining my house or raising my kids. (Was that a case of the grass appearing greener?)
I was emphatically reminded during that weekend -- when I was feeling a bit sorry for myself -- that I have a nice life. And I wholeheartedly agree -- but single parenting is not for wimps. Sometimes (many times) it is exhausting and hard (granted not as hard as raising four boys on a nurse's salary...) -- and based on how well my kids are doing (people comment on what good kids they are) -- totally worth it.
posted by Terri @ 4:14 PM
1 Comments:
I hear ya about the never really having had a partner part. I had a nice walking, talking paycheck but not a partner to help with the kids and certainly not a partner to support, care and encourage me as I did for him. And I agree that there are some "advantages" to this single parent thing.
On the companionship front, my 14-year-old daughter and I have decided that what I need is a gay male friend to hang out with. Ya know to go to the movies and dinner with but not have any relationship pressure since I can't even think about dating yet. But I do miss going out. And I hate the "third wheel" thing!
And I can't believe you broke your arm twice in a year! Speaking from experience, have you had your bone density checked? When I fell and hurt my back 13 year ago I found out that, at the young age of 30, I had osteoporosis. I would highly reccommend a bone density test. Your OB/GYN can refer you.
And speaking of great kids -- congrats!! I think that is the single greatest advantage to being a single parent. A clear vision as to the upbringing of the kids. I wouldn't trade being the mom for anything!
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